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By Julianne Cuba

Brooklyn Daily

Finally — a community board meeting you can watch over and over again!

The excitement never has to end now that Gravesender Clare Kopelakis is filming Community Board 15 meetings and putting them online for locals who cannot make it to the monthly gatherings. The citizen journalist felt pressed into service because the board’s Manhattan Beach meetings are so far from her Gravesend home — now she hopes to inject some fresh blood into the group by availing a wider audience to its very existence, she said.

“I don’t think half of the people in my immediate neighborhood even know it exists,” said Kopelakis, a self-avowed avid reader of this paper. “I want to see more people involved in Community Board 15. It’s very narrow opinions there. It’s not a wide cast of characters. My neighbors don’t even know about it.”

The board holds meetings at Kingsborough Community College, but that’s too far for many Gravesenders, Kopelakis said. Getting to that bastion of democracy, nestled on the eastern tip of Manhattan Beach, is a roughly 20-minute drive for residents living in more central parts of the district — and by the time the meetings end, many older folks already need to be in their pajamas, Kopelakis said.

“My issue is with getting there at 7 pm — you usually catch me in my feety pajamas watching TV. I’m not a night person, and a lot of elderly people are not,” the 60-year-old Kopelakis said.

For the people, Kopelakis recently captured videos of board members’ reports and of Councilman Chaim Deutsch (D–Sheepshead Bay) talking about pressing issues such as area roads’ disrepair and an unpopular mayoral plan to re-zone portions of the neighborhood. She posted the video on Facebook for her friends to watch, and it has gotten more than 200 views so far, she said.

One viewer has lived in Sheepshead Bay for 10 years but had no idea she was even allowed at the meetings.

“I didn’t really know that it was possible,” said Lori Birnbaum, who connected with Kopelakis on Facebook. “I assumed that it was for politicos.”

But the civic shindigs are open to all, and holding the meetings at Kingsborough is just a cost-saving measure, Scavo said.

“Kingsborough Community College, out of the goodness of their heart, gives us that room,” said Scavo, also a Gravesend resident. “If we had to go to different locations, where would we go? If you had to rent out a public school, you would have to pay for that.”

Kopelakis plans to keep filming the meetings when she can make it, but she hopes the board will begin rolling its own cameras and posting footage online.

“I would love to see it put on YouTube,” she said.

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By Julianne Cuba

Brooklyn Daily

Talk about service delays.

Transportation Authority officials are refusing to release a long-awaited — and apparently year-old — study on resurrecting the express F train on the grounds the paper is not done, despite a transit honcho testifying otherwise before Council. Authority vice-president of governmental communications Lois Tendler attested at a March 2 hearing of Council’s transportation committee that the sought-after study was done, then claimed it wasn’t, then said it was likely done last year.

“Yes,” Tendler told Councilman David Greenfield (D–Midwood) when he asked whether the study commissioned five years ago was complete. “I think it was finished. I don’t know. I would have to get back to you. Not years ago, for sure. Probably last spring.”

This paper asked for the study through a Freedom of Information Law request on March 2, but an authority official claimed it was still in the early stages.

“It’s not done,” said information officer Juliet Williams. “It’s in its preliminary stages.”

Presented with Tendler’s testimony from earlier that day, Williams recanted and said the study was awaiting final approval from transit-division president Veronique Hakim.

“It has to be presented to the president and be approved,” she said. “Nothing right now is subject for disclosure.”

The agency hasn’t had a chance to present the study to Hakim since she took over New York City Transit in November, an agency spokesman told JP Updates.

The authority cut express service in the 1970s. Greenfield asked Hakim about the restoration in December. Coney Island pols are also demanding the orange bullet back, citing a resurgent amusement district.

Greenfield said he is frustrated by the transit authority’s obstruction.

“We’ve been working on this for five years, they have the actual report, they promised me it, they finally got it done, they’re holding it, and won’t share it with us,” Greenfield said.

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By Tom Allon

Brooklyn Daily

Like any proud New Yorker, I was outraged a few months ago when the sniveling senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, used the loaded term “New York values” in his attempt to smear liberal New Yorkers like me. He was attempting to bloody his main Republican presidential opponent, Donald Trump, by linking his native roots to liberal political beliefs.

Well, how did that turn out, Sen. Cruz?

So, what have we learned and what can we expect over the next nine months?

We have learned to expect the unexpected. Anybody who tells you with confidence that he can predict this topsy-turvy year is either a frustrated pundit or someone who’s been taking too many controlled substances.

That said, and with a clean mind and body, I venture the following observations:

It goes without saying that a growing slice of America is pissed about the economy and the huge economic inequality gap. In the same way that the Civil Rights movement animated the 1960s, feminism surged in the 1970s and ’80s, and gay rights broke through in the aughts, I believe economic justice has become the singular theme of the teens.

Minimum wage, paid sick leave, maternity and paternity leave. Worker rights, more progressive taxation, and limiting executive pay. Corporate social responsibility, sustainability, pay equity, and real company diversity. Free public college tuition, student loan amnesty, and university accountability for return on investment.

These are just some of the highly charged issues that the next president and the next Congress will have to contend with. Like the fictional anchor Howard Beal in the famous 1970s movie “Network” the public has said: “We’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore.”

That’s why a supreme long shot like Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders has touched a nerve with young America and has made Hillary Clinton work hard for the Democratic nomination. Sanders is absolutely right: money has ruined our Democratic process. Billionaires have made this country into an oligarchy that must be tamed. College debt is ruining the hopes of millennials. And on and on.

His loud voice — and the passionate crowds who have attended his rallies — has dragged the party and Clinton to the left. The presumptive nominee must address these economic issues if she wants to keep Bernie’s base fired up for the November elections. It is probably way too early to discuss Hillary’s potential running mate, but Bernie or Elizabeth Warren or Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown would probably be good selections to keep the growing ultraliberal wing of the Democratic Party happy.

On the Republican side, well, at least we no longer have the dozen or so clowns who were in the race in late 2015 polluting our airwaves anymore.

But, we still have the 800-pound Gorilla from Fifth Avenue, Donald Trump, on an even bigger stage than before. Despite some bruising playground scrapes with Ted Cruz and the not-ready-for-primetime senator from Florida, Marco Rubio, Trump will emerge as the last man standing in the GOP primary campaign. Like the skunk at the garden party, he will continue (bless his soul) to make the Republican establishment mighty uncomfortable. Could he be the Trojan Horse that finally blows up the regressive venom and obstructionism of the radical right?

Like almost everyone with manners, I find Trump’s style and rhetoric to be unacceptable and he has debased our culture. His xenophobia may have gotten him the Republican nomination, but that won’t fly in a general election where he will need intelligent independent voters who want a leader they can trust with his or her finger on the nuclear button.

But there are two things he has espoused that I believe are more progressive than Hillary’s stances: staying out of Middle Eastern civil wars and repealing the unfair carried interest tax on hedge fund millionaires. Trump has spoken out about both of these issues and Hillary has, unfortunately, been strangely silent.

If nothing else, perhaps Sanders and then Trump can make Hillary a better candidate, a better leader and a more progressive president. She has almost all the right experience and beliefs — but her two blind spots are intervention in the Middle East and coziness with Wall Street.

No matter what, it seems that America is about to get at least four years of New York values. And that sounds just fine to me.

Tom Allon, president of City & State NY, was a mayoral candidate in 2013 before he left to return to the private sector. Reach him at tallon@cityandstateny.com.

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Brooklyn Daily

Word’s pick: “A Brief History of Seven Killings” by Marlon James

This acclaimed novel, winner of the 2015 Man Booker prize, follows the collision of many different lives after the 1976 attempted assassination of Bob Marley, with a story that spans decades and stretches across Kingston, Miami, and New York. A frenzied read, it blends the plot with an examination of geopolitics, gender, and the War on Drugs.

— Kelly Stacy, Word [126 Franklin St. at Milton Street in Greenpoint, (718) 383–0096, www.wordbrooklyn.com].

Community Bookstore’s pick: “The Knack of Doing” by Jeremy M. Davies

If there is a certain knack that Jeremy M. Davies has, it is for breaking apart a story, guts and all, right in front of the reader. In his first collection, Davies shows off his brilliant, bizarre short fiction, including a tale of two young lovers torn apart, literally, by falling glass; a lynch mob in pursuit of a magical tax man, told from the perspective of the mob; and the story of an executioner with a penchant for breeding mice. These 13 heady, hilarious stories reaffirm the author’s place as one of the best and brightest of modernist writers.

— Hal Hlavinka, Community Bookstore [43 Seventh Ave. between Carroll Street and Garfield Place in Park Slope, (718) 783–3075, www.communitybookstore.net].

Greenlight Bookstore’s pick: “The Minotaur” by Benjamin Tammuz

Europa Editions brought this lost classic back into print as part of its “World Noir” series. Despite its spy-story trappings (Israeli spy in London in the 1960s develops obsession with a young English woman, tradecraft ensues), it is really a love story that unfolds over the course of decades, evoking all the great literary questions of love, fate, and the consequences of deceit. Graham Greene loved it. I loved it. You will love it.

— Christien Shangraw, Greenlight Bookstore [686 Fulton St. between S. Elliott Place and S. Portland Avenue in Fort Greene, (718) 246–0200, www.greenlightbookstore.com].

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By Joseph Staszewski

Brooklyn Daily

Nyonty Wisseh took control when his team needed it most.

The Clippers senior guard put a lackluster first half behind him and carried this team to a 62–57 overtime win against Archdiocesan champion Cardinal Hayes in the Catholic Class AA boys’ basketball quarterfinals at Fordham University on March 6.

“I said to myself, ‘This is my team. This is my game. I had to take over,’ ” Wisseh said.

He scored 16 of his game-high 20 points after the first half — and added nine rebounds to boot. Wisseh split a pair of free throws with 10.9 seconds remaining in regulation to tie the score at 47–47 and send the game into overtime.

Xaverian, which went more than four minutes without a field goal, trailed 47–44 after a basket by Victor Montenegro (15 points, nine rebounds) with 1:21 to go in the fourth quarter.

Wisseh, who struggled at the free-throw line last year, worked on it tremendously over the summer and increased his average from around 40 percent to 80 percent, according to Clipper coach Jack Alesi. Cardinals guard Baron Goodridge missed a runner along the baseline, and Victor Montenegro didn’t have time for a put-back at the horn.

“I just had to make sure I swished it in the next time,” Wisseh said.

His heroics didn’t stop there, especially after Hayes star guard Clive Allen fouled out late in the fourth quarter. Zach Bruno (17 points, eight rebounds) got the overtime started with a three-point play. And one from Wisseh put Xaverian up 57–53 with 1:05 to go in the extra session. The Cardinals crept within three, but a Wisseh put-back put the game out of reach.

“He is one of my favorite teammates to ever play with,” Bruno said of Wisseh. “He made great plays down the stretch of the game and we got the win.”

Khalil Rhodes chipped in 14 points, and Brandon Leftwich added seven and 10 boards for Xaverian (16–11). Allen scored 12 points for Cardinals Hayes (19–8), and Pedro Marquez tallied 11. Cardinal Hayes trailed 23–18 at the half and 35–32 after three frames, but the team battled its way back.

Hayes retook the lead early in the fourth, but could not build off a three-point lead late in the fourth. Xaverian’s defense forced tough shots as the shot clock wound down on the next two possessions, opening the door for a comeback and a second-straight trip to the semifinals.

“We don’t have a lot of shooters, we don’t have big men, we don’t have bench, but we can defend,” Xaverian coach Jack Alesi said.

Wisseh took care of the scoring when it mattered most.

“There is nobody like Nyonty,” Alesi said. “I’ve coached a long time and he’s a different kid.”

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By Joseph Staszewski

Brooklyn Daily

Klay Brown didn’t start Abraham Lincoln’s semifinal game against George Westinghouse, but he sure did finish it.

The Christ the King transfer fought back cramps, scored 14 points, and made two of the game’s biggest hustle plays in the fourth-seeded Railsplitters’ 59–50 win over No. 8 George Westinghouse in the Public School Athletic League’s Class AA boys’ basketball semifinals on March 5. Railsplitters coach Dwayne “Tiny” Morton chose to sit the junior guard after he was late arriving to St. John’s University because of a mix-up with his ride, but the punishment only fueled Brown.

“I knew I had to perform,” Brown said. “My team needed me.”

Lincoln was without star guard Rakym Felder, who suffered a broken bone in his foot in the quarterfinals. Without Felder — who may also miss the title game against No. 2 Thomas Jefferson at Madison Square Garden on March 12 — it was Brown’s time to shine on both ends of the court.

He scored six points during Lincoln’s game-changing 17–3 spurt in the third quarter, helping to put the Railsplitters up 50–34 going to the fourth after it held Weshtinghouse without a field goal for nearly 7 minutes.

Brown blocked shots and hustled down a huge rebound with 2:15 to play in the game and Lincoln (23–7) up seven. Morton fully understands how important Brown’s night was to the team.

“I got to praise the kid from Queens,” he said. “He came late. I didn’t start him, but I think he is probably the reason why we are at the Garden right now.”

If Brown is the primary reason, his club’s defense is the second — the Railsplitters forced turnovers in key situations and fended off multiple Warriors’ runs in the backcourt.

Westinghouse (17–7) was within two points after a Gerald Williams (13 points) put-back with 6:53 to play in the third. The Warriors never got closer — mistakes led to Lincoln transition points each time Westinghouse crept close.

Warriors coach Everett Kelly was particularly upset his boys committed errors at half court or above the free throw line, giving his team little chance to get back on defense.

“Every time we made a run to try to get the game down to one-possession or so, we’d just turn it over,” Kelly said. “Where we are making them, it leads to transition baskets. It gave them an opportunity to attack us without being able to defend the transition.”

Akeem Tate chipped in 11 points for the Warriors, and Damarri Moore had seven.

Kelly’s team able to limit its turnovers and withstand an early 13–2 Lincoln run. The Warriors got a big lift off the bench from Saheem Ferguson, who connected on his first three shots and scored eight points in the first quarter. A Ferguson trey with three with seconds left brought Westinghouse within three at the end of the frame.

The Warriors came as close two more times in the second quarter, but the Railsplitters met the surges head-on each time. Brown kept Lincoln up 33–27 at half with a jumper and then a steal that led to a hoop from Donald Cannon Flores (10 points).

“Defense is out main priority,” said teammate Cahiem Brown (17 points), who is not related to Klay. ”It gives us easy baskets on offense. We get out there on defense, and offense just comes naturally.”

Lincoln is back in the final for the first time since it last won it all in 2013. And the task gets much tougher in the title game against Jefferson, even though the Railsplitters recently beat the Orange Wave 87–77 in the Brooklyn borough final. Lincoln, which finished third in the division, still feels like underdogs — especially will Felder likely out,

“Right now everyone is doubting us,” Klay Brown said. “We don’t have Jahlil Tripp and Rakym Felder. Everyone thinks we are still not that good.”

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By Troy Mauriello

Brooklyn Daily

Thomas Jefferson guard Shamorie Ponds had the first of what he hopes will be many memorable games at his future home arena.

The St. John’s University-commit scored a game-high 23 points as he helped the second-seeded Orange Wave pull out a 74–65 win over No. 3 Wings Academy in the Public School Athletic League Class AA boys’ basketball at St. John’s home court Carnesecca Arena on March 5.

The win sends Jefferson to the final against rival and No. 4-seeded Abraham Lincoln at noon on March 12 at Ponds’s second future home, Madison Square Garden, where the St. John’s boys play when games draw too big of a crowd for Carnesecca in Queens.

It is Jefferson’s fourth appearance in the title game in the last five years.

Ponds also got a chance this last weekend to impress some of his future St. John’s teammates and coaches.

Current Red Storm players Kassoum Yakwe, Marcus LoVett, Federico Mussini, Yankuba Sima, and Tariq Owens were all court-side along with assistant coaches Matt Abdelmassih and Greg St. Jean for the win over Wings Academy. And Ponds was feeling the love.

“It was a good experience, the crowd was on my side a little bit…trying to amp me up,” said Ponds. “I mean, I’m just excited.”

Ponds led the way for Jefferson, but he had a good deal of help. Fellow seniors Rasheen Dunn, a St. Francis College commit, and Curtis Smith scored 22 and 14 points respectively. The three combined for 61 of the Jefferson’s 74 points.

“Rasheen Dunn really stepped up today — he didn’t play so well in the [quarterfinals],” said Jefferson coach Lawrence “Bud” Pollard. “I said ‘Ra, shake it off, because it’s a comeback game,’ and he was a killer today.”

Still, Jefferson’s victory was hard-fought against the defending city champions.

The squad jumped out to a 17–5 lead early in the first quarter, but the Wings hanged tough. The team trailed just 41–40 at the half and was down 62–60 with 3:37 left to play.

Down the stretch, Ponds took over in the arena that he will soon call home. He extended the Jefferson lead to 64–60 with a clutch jumper with 2:58 left, and after Wings pulled within two, a Dunn basket with 2:09 to play brought Jefferson’s lead back up to four.

Wings (22–4) got back to within one possession one last time after Jose Perez split a pair of free throws to make it 66–63 with 1:36 left to play. But Ponds and the Orange Wave pulled away for good after that.

Two Smith free throws extended the lead to five, and following a strong defensive possession, a Ponds layup with 52.1 seconds remaining gave Jefferson a 70–63 lead and all but put the game away. The Orange Wave finished the game’s final five minutes on a 16–7 run.

Jefferson (21–9) will now square off with its rival Lincoln to determine this year’s champ. The Railsplitters comfortably defeated the Orange Wave back on Feb. 14 in the borough championship at York College. Afterward the Pollard and Lincoln coach Dwayne “Tiny” Morton traded jabs over who was the “big dog” in town and he joked about how they could settle it.

“It’s like good old times, me and Tiny squaring off at The Garden,” he said. “I’ll play him one-on-one for this chip. I know I’ll take him one-on-one for the post, and I shoot better than him.”

Bu it is not all fun and games — the Orange Wave has an opportunity to break a 60-year, city-title drought.

“It’s become a burden, because that’s all everybody talks about,” Pollard said.

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By Dennis Lynch

Brooklyn Daily

60th Precinct

Coney Island—Brighton Beach—Seagate

Big haul

Someone managed to drive off in a Bobcat vehicle from a construction site at a high school on Ocean Parkway sometime between Feb. 18 and Feb. 26, police said.

The owner of the vehicle parked it at the site near West Avenue on Feb. 18 and returned a week later to discover it was nowhere to be found, according to police.

Mugged on Mermaid Ave.

Three louts beat up and robbed a teen on Mermaid Avenue on Feb. 29, police said.

The victim was between W. 21st and W. 20th streets when the three bruisers approached him and demanded to know what he had in his pockets. One pushed him to the ground and another kicked him in the face, leaving him with cuts and bruises on his lip and jaw.

Then they took his cellphone and some credit cards and fled, according to police.

Stillwell sleezes

A trio of bandits took $30 from a teen at the Stillwell Avenue subway station on Feb. 29, according to a police report.

The three bad guys followed their victim onto a Coney Island-bound D train at Bay 50th Street and off at the last stop on the line. They followed him down the mezzanine, surrounded him, and told him to “run his s---,” police said.

One then pushed the victim down and grabbed $30 out of his pockets. His two brutish buddies followed him.

Cleared out

A cat burglar broke into a W. 23rd Street construction site sometime overnight on March 1, police said.

Workers arrived at the site around 7 am the next day to find someone had broken a padlocked door at the site. The thief stole $5,700 worth of construction equipment, including a ladder and some extensions cords, police said.

Luxurious loot

A weasel stole a man’s luxury car parked on Cropsey Avenue on Feb. 29, according to a police report.

The man had turned the car over to a repair service, which parked it near Bay 52nd Street around 2 pm. When he returned to pick it up in a few days later, it was long gone, police said.

The garage still had both sets of keys and lost an auto-testing kit and some tools workers had left in the car, according to police.

— Dennis Lynch

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By Julianne Cuba

Brooklyn Daily

61st Precinct

Sheepshead Bay—Homecrest— Manhattan Beach—Gravesend

Two against one

Police cuffed one out of two men who they say Tased and struck a guy in the head before stealing his wallet on E. 19th Street on March 1.

The victim’s friend told police they were near Avenue Y at 2:25 pm when the two suspects approached. One of them Tased the victim while the other struck him in the head with an unknown object. The first suspect then stole the victim’s wallet, which contained $500 if cash and two identification cards, according to a police report.

Emergency responders arrived and treated the victim for a burn on his hip from the Taser and a gash on his head. He was taken to Coney Island Hospital, according to a police report.

Police arrested the man on March 5.

Fling gone wrong

Police arrested a guy who drew a knife on a woman and demanded money after she brought him to her Batchelder Street home from a bar on March 5, according to a police report.

The woman told police she met a 37-year-old guy at a bar and brought him back to her home near Avenue Z around 6:30 pm. But when they got back to her house, the suspect took out a knife and demanded money, according to a police report.

The woman told police the guy slashed her left arm when she told him she did not have any money, and he also took two rings right off of her hand and fled the house with them around 7 pm.

Hand it over

Police collared a guy who they say stole money from a woman on E. 16th Street on March 2.

The woman was near Quentin Road at 3:40 pm when the suspect forcefully grabbed her wrist and stole $230 of her cash, she told police. Surveillance footage caught the act on camera and police arrested the suspect later that day, according to a police report.

Sneak attack

A dastardly duo snatched money from a 15-year-old girl in a Quentin Road bodega on March 2, said police.

The teenager told police she was in the deli near E. 16th Street at 7:50 pm buying candy and a soda when the brute pick-pocketed an envelope with $175 cash in it right off of her.

She asked for the money back, but the woman sneak then shoved her, police reported. The teenager was scared and an out of the store with her friend, according to a police report.

Frozen heart

Two cold-hearted looters made away with bags full of frozen food from an Avenue X store on March 4 — and attacked an employee after he tried to stop them, according to officers.

The store worker told police the two muggers entered the store near West Street at 1:15 pm and put frozen food products in their handbags. When the employee told the shoplifters they couldn’t steal the items, one of them struck his face, causing a nosebleed and his left eye to swell, according to a police report. The looters fled the store with two bags filled with frozen food, according to a police report.

Short hostage situation

Police arrested a guy after he stole two phones from a 19-year-old girl, shoved her, and would not let her leave Avenue W on March 6, police reported.

The girl told police the two agreed to meet up near Nostrand Avenue around 4 pm through an online listing to sell the two phones, but as they were talking before the transaction, the suspect pushed and shoved her, stole the phones from her hand, and would not let her leave.

The victim managed to get away and tell police what had happened. Police say the man had no weapons and the girl had no visible injuries, according to a police report.

— Julianne Cuba

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By Stanley P. Gershbein

Brooklyn Daily

She lies and lies and lies and then has the chutzpah, the gall, the audacity, the nerve (and if she was a man I would add a plural word for a portion of the male anatomy) to tell a CBS interviewer that she believes she never lied to the American public.

That, my dear reader, was the biggest lie of all. Let’s back up a bit and look up her response when she was asked about the private server set up at her home in Chappaqua. She told the authorities that she configured the private server to handle all of her e-mails — for convenience — during her term as Secretary of State.

“I thought it would be easier to carry just one device for my work and for my personal e-mails instead of two.”

Did she tell the truth? Of course not. The Lyin’ Queen doesn’t know how to tell the truth. She did not carry one. She didn’t carry two. She finally admitted to carrying three. Liar, liar, pantsuit on fire. The title of the new book is “Unlikable” tells the truth about Hillary, Bill, and Chelsea. Yes — even Chelsea. Her temper and her big, fat paycheck from NBC. Hop on over to the nearest public library and, if it is no longer on the shelves, put it on reserve and take it out as soon as it comes in. It is very fast reading and will fill your head with loads of information about, as it says on the cover, “the problem with Hillary.”

• • •

Sixty years ago this week, the No. 1 tune on the charts was “Heartbreak Hotel” sung by none other than Elvis Presley. It’s hard to believe, but according to the salesperson in the music store, it is one number on an album of Presley’s No. 1 hits, and it still sells big time. I have said it several times, but once more couldn’t hurt: Being dead has not interfered with Presley’s career, and he’s been dead a long time.

• • •

Recent entrance and exit polls asked: “Would you prefer a president who is a political outsider?” And 70 percent responded in the affirmative.

Wow — seven of every 10 shouted a big, fat, robust “Yes! We want an outsider!”

As of publication, the race has only two political outsiders: Donald Trump and Stanley Gershbein. Please! Do not put my name down as a write-in. I am not one bit interested in becoming the POTUS. It’s a no-end job. You work for four years. If you do well, you might get another four years, but then, after giving your all for eight long, sleepless years, you’re out of a job. What do I do then? No, I do not play golf. As so many in the country who are out of the job, I’d go to an employment agency…

“Mr. Gershbein, what was your last job?”

I was a president. I’d like to be a president again. Perhaps you have a small country somewhere that needs a president? Preferably a beautiful island somewhere in the Caribbean?

“No. I am dreadfully sorry. The only opening for a president I find in my files is for a president of a shul in Queens. Are you interested?”

Not now, sir.

I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net saying that I will change my profession with the hopes that something I like turns up.

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By Dennis Lynch

Brooklyn Daily

62nd Precinct

Bensonhurst—Bath Beach

Hammer time

A pair of hammer-swinging fiends attacked a man on 14th Avenue on March 5, police said.

The victim told police he was walking toward 86th Street from Benson Avenue around 11 pm when he got into an argument with the two men. It escalated into a life-or-death situation when one of the two brutes whipped out a hammer and whacked the victim across the head with it, according to authorities.

Soon after, the two fled in a gray sport utility vehicle. Emergency responders brought the victim to Maimonides Hospital.

Smelly sneaks

Two thieves pocketed some perfume from an 86th Street pharmacy on March 1, according to a police report.

The two stole multiple boxes of cologne from the drugstore between Bay 40th and Bay 41st streets around 7:30 pm — and once they had the goods they booked it down 86th Street towards Stillwell Avenue, police said.

Cash and bling

A cat burglar broke into a home on 66th Street on March 1, according to police.

The victim left his house between 19th and 20th avenues around 1 pm and returned about four hours later to find his front door wide open and his whole house flipped upside down, he told cops.

The intruder managed to break in through a rear security gate, according to police. The thief got away with jewelry and $10,000 in cash.

He did not get far

Some good-for-nothing stole a woman’s car parked on Cropsey Avenue on Feb. 27 — and crashed it, cops said.

The woman returned to her car parked between Bay 40th and Bay 41st Street around 11:30 pm but found it was nowhere to be seen, according to police. Police later found someone had crashed the car at Colonial Road and 92nd Street and then fled the scene.

— Dennis Lynch

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By Joanna DelBuono

Brooklyn Daily

Politics, politics, politics. Mel Brooks said it best in “History of the World: Part I” — the Roman senate is the best legislature that money can buy.

And so it goes for the United States. Our legislature is the best that money and corruption can buy. Like Diogenes of old, I’m just searching for an honest politician. I keep hoping to find just one. That’s all I’m asking for — just one honest pol who doesn’t lie, cheat, back-stab, or bamboozle us and who will instead lead us into the next decade and usher in an era of prosperity and peace.

This presidential election has brought out the worst in this country. The front-runners in the GOP are nothing but juvenile-delinquent frat boys relishing in fart jokes, crude humor, and finger-pointing instead of focusing on the monumental issues this country faces and what they’ll do to spur job growth, reduce our deficit, and provide for our safety.

The Democratic party is no better. It’s giving us the choice between aging socialist Bernie Sanders and conniving former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (who is just a wolf in a polyester pantsuit). She made more back-room deals before and after hubby Bill’s time in the White House than Boss Tweed did in Tammany Hall. Just think: Travelgate, Whitewater, and now e-mailgate. And that’s just the tip of the crooked, scandalous ’berg.

So where exactly does this leave us in this presidential election? In deep doo-doo — that’s where.

Whether Democrat or Republican — they all stink like yesterday’s diapers.

When Donald Trump came on the scene, I sort of admired his ability to say what most people were only thinking but would never dare to say out loud. I thought that is what this country really needs — a breath of fresh air, someone who will cut the bull and get to the point. But his rhetoric of late has become so sophomoric that I am leaning away from giving him the nod. Not that Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio are any better for that matter. And as far as Hillary and Bernie go, not even in my wildest nightmare would I consider either of them a good prospect to move into 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. next January.

Not for Nuthin™ — and I know that this will raise a few eyebrows (it’s shocking even me) — but at this point, I think that it would have been a good plan if our former mayor, the one and only Mike Bloomberg, threw his beret into the ring. At best, he would put the members of the senate and house on a fat-, salt-, and nicotine-free diet. They certainly can stand to lose a bit of pork.

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By Allegra Hobbs

Brooklyn Daily

It is a Torah of many colors.

A local artist will discuss his newly-published illustrated guide to the 613 Jewish laws outlined in the Torah at a Brooklyn Museum book festival on March 12. The artsy scholar says that his brightly-colored images provide a much-needed counterpoint to the words of the scripture.

“Judaism is a religion of stories — Jesus told parables, and that’s very Jewish,” said Archie Rand, who will read the introduction to his book “The 613” at the museum’s first-ever Read Brooklyn authors fair. “Those things seem to need an illustrative context.”

Rand, who grew up in a Jewish household, spent five years creating 613 acrylic paintings to accompany each of the religious laws. He finished the project in 2008, but only now have the images been collected into an enormous book, with one image on each page.

The book has gotten a big response, but his work has not always been well-received. When Rand painted a mural for a Brooklyn synagogue in the 1970s, he faced significant backlash from the Orthodox community, who objected to any form of religious imagery. The reaction only increased his desire for visual aids to the Torah, but the work is not supposed to be a theological statement, said Rand — instead, it represents his personal, artistic itch.

“The statement I’m making is to myself,” he said. “I thought, there’s stuff here that should exist, but doesn’t. I did it for that reason.”

Rand is one of four authors at the festival who will host intimate readings of their work — each doing so in front of a piece of art that reflects their books. Rand will introduce his tome alongside a sculpture by artist Sol Lewit of continuous, interconnecting boxes that mirror how the faithful read and re-read the Torah.

The Brooklyn Museum’s book festival will celebrate 40 emerging local authors whose works speak to the borough’s cultural diversity and constant change, said the organizer of the first-time fest.

“I think that’s really going to reach out to the Brooklyn community, because we’ve all grown up here and lived our lives here,” said Sallie Stutz. “It’s reflecting upon the diversity of the people we share everyday life with.”

“Read Brooklyn Authors Fair” at the Brooklyn Museum [200 Eastern Pkwy. at Washington Avenue in Crown Heights, (718) 638–5000, www.brooklynmuseum.org]. March 12. 1–5 pm. Free.

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By Julianne Cuba

Brooklyn Daily

It’s a new home and new show!

An acclaimed ballet company that made the grand jeté from Manhattan to Dumbo last year will debut an original production this month. Creating the piece “Stealing Time,” which opens on March 17, is a bold new step for the Gelsey Kirkland Ballet, said its founder.

“It’s the first time we’ve had a full story ballet, original story,” said Gelsey Kirkland, who is also the show’s co-artistic director. “It’s of course our mission to grow and create new works.”

Kirkland, once the principal dancer for the American Ballet Theatre, has danced the lead in ballets including “The Nutcracker” and “Romeo and Juliet” for audiences across the globe. She now teaches at her own studio in Dumbo, along with her husband, dancer Michael Chernov, who created the scenario of “Stealing Time.” The new ballet uses the music of German composer Kurt Weill in a surreal comedy about love, time, and conflict, said Chernov.

“It’s about people who have trouble with time,” he said. “It’s time itself, like when you’re born and when you die. And love has no time, so it’s this conflict in human beings, between love and structure.”

Kirkland and Chernov moved the Gelsey Kirkland Academy of Classical Ballet and its associated ballet company to Dumbo last June, into the space previously occupied by St. Ann’s Warehouse. The dancing duo love the space they now have to accommodate all of their programs, they said.

“Dumbo is probably one of the most exciting areas in New York and we love St. Ann’s Warehouse,” said Chernov. “You can’t get space like this in Manhattan, it’s not possible. This is the most perfect space.”

Chernov, a dancer and choreogrpher for more than 45 years, is excited for his show’s debut, though he hopes everything comes together smoothly, he said.

“I’m nervous as hell. It’s a lot of work, trying to make everything happen at the same time is very complex,” he said. “It’s very rare there is a new full-length ballet that gets put on, and there is a return to story ballet with narrative, so this is an important event.”

Working on the show has been a great learning experience for 22-year-old Dawn Milatin, who plays Venus, the wife of the main character in “Stealing Time.”

“It’s really cool the process since it’s a new work. We’re working together with the directors and choreographers figuring out everything for the first time. There’s a lot of trial and error and so you grow with each process,” said Milatin.

“Stealing Time” at Gelsey Kirkland Arts Center [29 Jay St. between Plymouth and John streets in Dumbo, (212) 600–0047, www.gelseykirklandacademyofclassicalballet.org]. March 17–20. $20–$59.

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By Allegra Hobbs

Brooklyn Daily

Gentrification isn’t all bad!

A Sunset Park art exhibit will use the visual techniques and language of real estate to tackle the effects of rapid development on urban communities. The goal is to explore the ups and downs of development — without getting too preachy, said the show’s curator.

“It’s not really meant to take a very overt political tone,” said Katherine Gressel, who will unveil the “Artistic Developments” exhibition at the New York Art Residency and Studios Foundation on March 11. “But I think most artists in their work are critical of the newest developments going on and the way they are marketed. Studio and living spaces for artists are becoming more and more unaffordable.”

Eight artists have contributed paintings, sketches, and other visual pieces that reflect the surge of real estate development that seems likely to put a tower the size of the Chrysler building in Downtown.

One contributing artist has documented the changes to her native Greenpoint over the last decade, taking photos of the shifting skyline to keep tabs on the transformation.

“Tearing down the old and making the new became a theme throughout everything that I do,” said Cheryl Molnar.

For the show, Molnar created a brochure that explains the changes, as well as a digital piece for that overlays Greenpoint’s current low-rise streetscape with the projected, far taller developments soon to take over.

While she laments the rising skyline blocking out sunlight and destroying the nabe’s low-rise charm, there are plus sides to the changes, says Molnar. Development often brings new places to hang out, including green space like Williamsburg’s East River State Park.

“I remember on North Seventh street there was a hole in the chain link fence you could crawl through and get out to the docks by the river,” she said. “That was nice, but having a formal park is nice too.”

Molnar says that her work traces the changes without making a value judgement.

“I’m just documenting what I see going on in front of me,” she said.

“Artistic Developments: Artists and the language of real estate” at the NARS gallery [201 46th St. at Second Avenue in Sunset Park, (718) 768–2765, www.narsfoundation.org]. Opening reception on March 11 at 6 pm. Exhibition runs through April 8.

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By Dennis Lynch

Brooklyn Daily

They’re just hoping for a fuller house.

The Cyclones are not moving to the West Coast — despite images of team jerseys emblazoned with San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge circulating the Internet. The Brooklyn Dodgers’ 1957 departure still has Brooklyn baseball fans sore, but the Clones aren’t blowing outta town, a spokesman said.

“A team from Brooklyn moving to California? That would never happen — again,” said spokesman Billy Harner. “Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it. We learned from the mistakes of the Dodgers leaving Brooklyn and the baseball-sized hole it left in the borough’s collective heart. We love our city and hope to be here forever. Besides, we’d miss the pizza too much.”

Brooklyn’s boys of summer — whose logos feature the Cyclone roller coaster and the Brooklyn Bridge — are wearing the seemingly anathema attire on July 9 as a promotional tie-in with Netflix-rebooted ‘90s sitcom “Full House,” which was set in the California gold-rush town.

It’s the first time the Cyclones — a team named for a piece of iconic Brooklyn architecture — will don an out-of-town landmark on its uniforms, Harner said.

The team will give away bobbleheads of actor John Stamos, who is reprising his role as Uncle Jesse on new show “Fuller House.”

The organization is still trying to top its much ballyhooed Seinfeld night — something it won multiple industry awards for in 2014, Harner said.

“We made the mistake of setting the bar pretty high, but we always try to top what we’ve done in the past,” he said.

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By Julianne Cuba

Brooklyn Daily

They want litter to take a long walk off a short pier.

Volunteers pulled two dumpsters’ worth of trash from the shoreline around Canarsie Pier during a cleanup on March 5. The once-peerless jetty has gotten grimy in recent years, but one do-gooder said he was glad folks are trying to return it to its former glory.

“I grew up in Canarsie, so I remember back in the day, it was cleaner — we used to actually go to the beach over there,” said Verne Sylvestre, 30, who now lives in Mill Basin. “Seeing it now as a mess in the state it was in, it’s good to see that there are people cleaning it up to get it back to what it used to be.”

More than 70 locals, members of community service group AmeriCorps, and National Park Service volunteers spent four hours at the Federally run-pier, removing the many pieces of foam, plastic, and glass that threaten the area’s wildlife and make the pier less enjoyable for recreationists, said one of the day’s planners.

“We chose Canarsie Pier because a lot of people use this beach, people love it, but it’s kind of messy,” said Emily Kimmelman of AmeriCorps. “It felt good to have the event come to fruition, because it took a lot of planning.”

The clean-up was the first of the season. It made a difference, there is still more to be done, another volunteer said.

“They really made a dent in it,” said Keith White of the National Parks Service, who hopes to host more clean-ups before the pier opens for the summer.

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By Lauren Gill

Brooklyn Daily

They cantilever it alone any longer!

The city must act now to repair the past-its-prime highway that hangs below the Brooklyn Heights Promenade before it is to late, a revered transportation expert told The Brooklyn Paper this week.

“Gridlock” Sam Schwartz said concrete on the so-called triple-cantilever portion of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway — an engineering marvel that is more than 10 years past its intended lifespan — is crumbling, exposing the steel-mesh underbelly to corrosion. If that happens, lanes will have to be closed and reconstruction work accelerated.

“It’s time the city and state got to work on it,” said the former New York City traffic commissioner.

Schwartz worked with the city in 2009 on a plan to reconstruct the 1.5 mile roadway that curves around Brooklyn Heights, but the state killed the project when it pulled funding in 2011 after deciding the overhaul was too expensive.

A spokeswoman for the transportation department said it is in the early stages of the reconstruction process and is evaluating the structure, but added it is too early to guess the price tag and timeline. It will start reaching out to local stakeholders in the coming weeks to provide updates on the planning process, she said. She refused to say who will pay for the project, but a response to the local community board’s budget requests says approval is dependent on sufficient federal and state funds.

Schwartz estimated the gargantuan renewal will cost upwards of $500 million.

Locals involved in the last round of planning say someone must do something about the crumbling roadway that carries more than 160,000 each day before something terrible happens.

“It’s such an integral part of the transportation network in Brooklyn that we can’t wait for failure,” said Rob Perris, who is the district manager of Community Board 2. “We have to be proactive about planning for either its repair or replacement.”

Perris said the transportation department met with community members last time around, and people were keen to demolish the cantilever altogether and construct a tunnel from Carroll Gardens to Williamsburg.

Schwartz said it is unlikely residents will ever get their dream tunnel, though, since the cash-strapped city wouldn’t have enough money to pay for the pricey project.

Folks want to make sure the transportation department integrates Brooklyn Bridge Park — which wasn’t around when the cantilever was designed in the 1940s — in its plans and creates an access point to the water, says a leader of the Brooklyn Heights Association, who met with the transportation department in October about the project.

The Brooklyn Queens-Expressway is no Pantheon and wasn’t designed to stand the test of time, he said.

“I don’t think any structure is built with a useful life that long,” said Peter Bray, who is the executive director of the Brooklyn Heights Association. “I think there’s little question that a major overhaul is due.”

Before it gets to work on the new passage that runs underneath the fabled Brooklyn Heights Promenade, the city will also have to figure out a way to reroute the thousands of cars that travel the important connector each day, which will also require extensive community input.

A rep for the transportation department said it conducts regular inspections on the cantilever and commuters are safe.

The Heights Association announced at its annual meeting last month there’s enough money in the bank to begin work on the massive revamp and it will commence talks with the city about the lengthy reconstruction process soon. The Promenade and the highway beneath, which opened in the early 1950s, was built to last 50 years and construction on its new incarnation is not likely to begin for at least a decade — making it nearly 40 years past its prime.

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By Julianne Cuba

Brooklyn Daily

These awardees were really shepping nachas.

Nearly 1,000 people packed Kol Yaakov Hall in Midwood for a morning of shmear and shmoozing during the Council of Jewish Organizations of Flatbush’s 37th-Annual Legislative Breakfast on March 6, when 12 mensches received awards for their service and leadership in the community. And attendees were freilach when Mayor DeBlasio made a surprise — and very welcomed — appearance, said the organization’s chief executive officer Louis Welz.

“The mayor adds a lot of excitement and buzz,” Welz said. “And when people see and have access to the mayor, they feel they have a personal interaction and personal connection with him, and he has been in tune to the needs of our community. We had more people than we have had before.”

Of the 12 honorees, Assemblywoman Pamela Harris (D–Coney Island) received the distinguished freshman leadership award, a fitting honor considering how much she has done for the community since she took office only a few months ago, said 46th Assembly District Leader Dilia Schack.

“I wanted to share this moment. I was there because it meant something to our district and the fact that she’s being recognized after only three months,” said Schack.

State Sen. Martin Golden (R–Bay Ridge) was kvelling as he presented the distinguished statesman award — an honor he received last year — to newly minted Congressman Dan Donovan (R–Bay Ridge), he said.

“I was ecstatic and am very happy the congressman received it this year,” said Golden. “It was a privilege to be able to present him with that award.”

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By Dennis Lynch

Brooklyn Daily

They couldn’t hold their horses any longer.

The federal government has listed Coney Island’s B&B Carousell on the National Register of Historic Places, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand announced on March 8. The city-owned carousel is now eligible for federal preservation money and tax credits — securing the future of Coney Island’s last remaining carousel, a senator who lobbied for the designation said.

“This designation is another national highlight of New York’s rich history and will help ensure that B&B Carousell remains a treasured site for future generations to enjoy and experience,” said Gillibrand, who penned a letter in February urging the National Parks Service to list the 110-year-old carousel.

Turn-of-the-century Coney Island carousel masters built every part of the B&B — the frame itself, its 50 horses, and the various artistic adornments, historians say. The exquisite equines are a living history lesson on the “Coney Island Style” of carving defined by flamboyance and whimsical themes, one of three main styles the National Carousel Association recognizes. Those carvers and craftsmen built dozens of carousels in the style that went to theme parks around the country last century.

They built the B&B in 1906 for a New Jersey amusement park, but it returned to its home about 25 years later when the Jersey park went out of business. The ride has served amusement-seekers at two Surf Avenue locations over the last 70 years.

In 2005, the owners shut it down and planned to sell it piece-by-piece, but the city bought the merry-go-round and sent restoration three years later. It returned in glorious fashion as a main attraction at Steeplechase Plaza in 2013, alongside a number of local attractions reopening that day in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

The news comes a month after officials announced the designation was just around the bend.

The B&B Carousell is the 169th site that the federal government has listed in the borough. Now preservationists can nominate it for national-landmark designation, the country’s highest historical honor.

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