NOT FOR NUTHIN’: It might be the end of days, but Joanna still has to shop.

See this story at BrooklynDaily.com.

By Joanna DelBuono

Brooklyn Daily

Writing this week’s column was a challenge. Here it is Dec. 20 just one day before the Mayan end of the world dead-line of Dec. 21 and five days before Christmas.

Do I comment on the world’s affairs as I usually do? Do I say “So long and thanks for all the fish,” just in case the Mayans are right? Or do I share my rhyming skills and write my annual homage to Clement Clarke Moore’s “A Visit from St. Nicholas?”

After much soul searching, and with way too much terrible news to go around, I decided to go with the Homage to Moore. Hold on to your sleigh bells, here it is:

It’s days before Christmas and all through the house

We’re fretting the Mayan end, daughter Bri, me, and the spouse.

Should I shop for the gifts, if no one is here?

And what about eggnog and spreading good cheer?

Now the Mayans may err in the date for the end,

Just in case I’ve written my cards, with ho-ho and ta-ta, did I send.

My window is bedecked with lights and the holly all hung with such care,

With hopes that St. Nick will come down the chimney with his usual flair.

Harold Camping was off in his prediction so dire.

As I ponder the end, with hot cocoa and being warmed by the fire.

’Tis the end of the world, or maybe it ain’t.

None know for sure, not Camping, not Mayan’s, not even the saints

It’s right before Christmas and the ending it’s true,

And I’ve not bought one gift, not a one, neigh not two.

I’ll run to the stores and shop till I drop, hoping to finish before the world stops.

I’m running up bills and loading up plastic.

If it’s the end I don’t pay, isn’t that fantastic?

But what if they’re wrong? I’ll be left with some tab.

I guess I’ll be cautious keeping my selections cheap and so drab.

Some scent for my daughter, a pair of socks for my Bob

And hope if it’s not over, I’ll still have this job.

As I close out this column I hear such a clamor;

I look out my window but it’s only a hammer.

My neighbor is hanging decorations for all of us to see.

So I guess that’s my cue to start decorating this big old Christmas tree.

Not for Nuthin’ not’s ending, on that you can depend,

I offer this wish - Merry Christmas to all and to all a good end.

Not for Nuthin,™ but my colleague and good friend Thomas Tracy is leaving for a new adventure at another paper, so I’d like to take this opportunity to wish him good luck and offer a toast: May the road rise up to meet you; May all your troubles be behind you; And may all your brews be cold. You’re a genius my boy, a genius.

Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.

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