See this story at BrooklynDaily.com.
By Carmine Santa Maria
Brooklyn Daily
I’m madder than a mad hatter who went crazy from working at the haberdashery all those years over the fact that I’m getting so much different information from so many different places these days that I don’t know what to do with it so I just might bury my head in the sand!
Look, you all know the ol’Screecher has been a consistent proponent of open dialogue and an informed public since the time I won the presidency of the student council while I served as editor of the student newspaper, making sure I informed my constituents (and readers) exactly how awesome I was. It’s a model I’ve used successfully throughout my life, as I’ve always made sure I’ve had an extra-strength soapbox from which you can hear my voice, and the power to make decisions on places like community boards, community school councils, police community councils, and, of course, my own BWECC!, the most interestingly named neighborhood group in the city.
But these days, it seems I can’t shout loud enough because of all this interference from AM radio, FM radio, no soap radio, the Zenith in the living room, smartphones, the phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen, the interweb, Comedy Central, Cyclones games, those two cans tethered together with a wire, Sunday matinees, Wednesday matinees, the Nintendo WeBox, the MeTube, FaceBookTime, and the tweeter that has finally drowned out my voice to a whisper.
Folks, it’s been a long time since I spoke words to people and they don’t know exactly what I’m talking about (and when I say a long time, I mean since never), and it’s all because instead of listening to me, all of youse have on your tiny earbuds that play music so loud it melts your brain.
So, as a public service, I’m going to give youse all the Screecher’s pro tip on how to stay informed: Stop reading, listening to, and watching the Interweb!
That’s right, I’ve had it up to hear with all the nonsense coming out of that thing, and I curse the day the eggheads over at F.I.T or wherever fashioned it together! So I say pull the plug, and let’s go back to the old days when information was delivered to you just four ways at the same time — over dinner while reading the newspaper and listening to Walter Kronkite.
And I’m not just talking about the consumers of news, I’m talking about the newsmakers themselves! I say it is high time they go back to getting their information from that ticker on 1010 WINS and nothing else, because otherwise they get too distracted!
About the only thing the Interweb is good for is getting seniors the information they need about how to collect their social security checks! But is the government giving out laptops to seniors en masse? Nooooooooo!
Allow me to digress as I bring to your attention the Screecher’s must-watch favorite television series: channel 2’s “Person of Interest,” which too realistically shows how much we are watched by machines. My lovely wife Sharon and I don’t miss an episode. Watch it once and you’re hooked!
Oh, and before I forget again, let me thank all of you that wished me a “Happy 79th,” whether it was through snail-mail birthday cards or via my FaceBookTime page or with one of those digital cards that I get in my free-mail box, and you don’t even have to lick a stamp. And let’s not forget those personal phone calls from all over. My birthday party was actually celebrated on my birthday at Friendly’s in Long Island because when six grandchildren outnumbered the adults, and, as youse grandparents know, they’re the boss!
Also, I went to the Brighton Jubilee on Brighton Beach and Coney Island Avenues last Sunday. It reminded me of the enormous crowds that crowded the streets of Little Italy during the feast of San Gennaro. Vendors were selling roasted corn on the cob, fruit, watermelon, gyros, steak sandwiches, frozen custard, you name it, and it was for sale at bargain prices. Can you imagine a can of Pepsi with two slices of Pizza for $5 at Luigi’s on Coney Island Avenue?
My dear friend and colleague Pat Singer did the impossible, making the Jubilee bigger and better than ever. Pat and I are contemporaries and go back 40 years, she has a record of accomplishments that would make politicos gasp. I also came across Assemblyman Steve Cymbrowitz at his stand — who was the very first to help the Screecher way before he became an assemblyman.
Special thanks to Wendy, who led the way through the crowds for Tornado and yours truly.
Screech at you next week!