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IT’S ONLY MY OPINION: Stan says ‘I’d rather eat!’

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See this story at BrooklynDaily.com.

By Stanley P. Gershbein

Brooklyn Daily

Lois Lerner, the director of the IRS division that oversees nonprofit groups, struck a defiant tone in her statement when she first appeared before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.

“I have not done anything wrong,” she said. “I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations and I have not provided false information to this or any other committee.”

Then she displayed colossal chutzpah by taking the fifth. Whom did she protect?

Now her e-mails, which may contain incriminating information, disappeared and they may never be found. How convenient. It’s only my opinion, but I do think this very loyal employee has the protection of someone way up the ladder.

Oh sure. There is a report that her computer crashed a while ago. Please tell me, who in this world doesn’t have a crash corrected ASAP? Whether it’s an individual with his personal laptop or a large corporation with supersized mega-computers, as soon as there’s a crash the experts are called in to correct the situation. Now they expect us to believe that they didn’t? What about it Lois? Tell us the truth.

•••

What about you, Jay Carney? You told the Washington Press Corps that you never lied to them. I am much too busy laughing to comment.

•••

The question asked at the cocktail party last week was, “If you were able to change your job today, what would you want to do and why?”

Some in the room who had no talent at all thought it would be glamorous to be singers, dancers and rock stars. “No!” explained our hostess. “Choose a job for which you already have the qualifications.”

When the room looked at me I said that I still write for Courier Life and would love to be a critic. Aside from the salary, I would love the perks. One gal agreed and said, “Picture reviewing movies. That to me would be the best job in town. You get to see all the new flicks, scribble a few thoughts, and get paid for being entertained. Could anything be better than that?”

“Yes.” I said. “I’d rather be a restaurant critic. You eat and you get paid for eating. That to ME would be the best gig in town.”

“I hate to disagree with you” one man said, “but to many Americans William Breathes already has the best reviewer job on the planet.”

Who? I never heard of him. Who is he?

I didn’t believe what I was told so I Googled it and here goes. William Breathes is a newspaper critic who writes for a Denver paper. He uses and reviews… Drum roll please…

Marijuana. He says he uses different strains of weed separately and smokes them on different days to get an accurate feel for them “…and I try not to write my reviews when I’m really, really stoned.”

I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net saying, I’d rather eat.

Read Stan Gershbein's column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.

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