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By Joanna DelBuono
Brooklyn Daily
Many moons ago, when Not for Nuthin’ was just a little baby column, I did a piece titled “From mice to menopause,” which discussed the close relationship of female rodents to female humans.
The column was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek (as is my wont) and I conjectured, “If female mice have ovarian stem cells that continually manufacture eggs and never go into menopause, then why can’t woman’s ovaries be retrofitted to have this?” pointing out that “we’d be able to bear children until we drop.”
I have to say at the time it was pretty funny stuff, but seven years and 4 million hot flashes later it is not so funny anymore.
Michael Blaustein of the Post wrote this week that “Menopause could be a thing of the past thanks to evolution.”
“The radical change could come,” according to Aarathi Prassad, a former cancer researcher, “because women are living longer and healthier lives than ever before.”
Mother Nature, with a little help from scientists, may work on a way to either “technologically or scientifically evolve out of menopause.”
I thought to myself, as I did way back when, “Way to go, Mother Nature. What a great evolutionary development this would be. No more hot flashes, no more mood swings, no more confusion, forgetfulness, osteoporosis, and no more PMS. The upside would be experiencing the joy of child bearing well into our eighth or ninth decades.”
And then I took a good, hard look at the past 20 years of parenting and the light bulb went off. Mother Nature has done us a favor. There is no way I would ever want to go and sit through another pre-k step up at 80, or run after a 3-year old at 90. No, Mother Nature has definitely been kind to us women.
Although there are many health benefits to keeping up hormone levels longer, especially when it comes to lowering a woman’s chance of heart disease, or having weak bones, and of course, not forgetting where our glasses are 24-7 would be a real improvement, but running after a tiny terror when we should be relaxing in the twilight of our years is just not in our best interests.
Prasad added that scientists are also looking into early menopause and are hopeful that they [scientists] will find the gene that causes it. Once that gene is found, scientists may be able to develop therapy to stop menopause for happening in all women.
Not for Nuthin™, but scientists better take a longer look at the down-side of child bearing that many years on. I took a long hard second look and decided I’d rather suffer from a few hot flashes and stock up on cold packs and personal fans, rather than facing a pregnancy and a little one at 60. How about raising a teenager at 80 — hell no.
Now where are my glasses again?
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.
Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues — and women's health — every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@cnglocal.com.